Wednesday, May 4, 2011

#2: The Signs around Campus: “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service – BUT SERIOUSLY, YOU NEED TO WEAR SHOES!”

The signs usually emerge on posts in Baker Center and in the dining halls sometime in the springtime, when the shoeless minority is set free from the necessity of footwear.
The Dining Hall Managers that normally speed around looking like they’re about to solve the mystery of the Egyptian Pyramids- whose seriousness is only watered down by the hairnet covering their beards- are launched into hyperspeed mode when they see these hooligans traipsing through their food court.
The hardened flesh of the foot slapping against the tile, the shoeless, who’ve already clearly denounced a desire to abide by social norms, don’t fall for the normal alliteration on public decency. Instead, the Dining Hall Managers opt to specify just what is the problem here.
Drunk, or Athens?
When the grass is especially soft on the soles of our feet and the warm Appalachian air is roasting tanning beauties on the greens, everyday priorities magically become less important, and walking around barefoot to soak up the aura of Athens seems more logical than barbaric.
These people are in no drunken stupor. That’s Athens.

1 comment:

  1. OH MY GOD.

    I was a dining hall student manager back in the day (coordinator, actually, which is the manager of managers) and you just hit the nail on the head with your description: "...speed around looking like they’re about to solve the mystery of the Egyptian Pyramids..." I love it.

    And yes, we hated the shoeless. In a dining hall, that's just gross.