Friday, June 3, 2011

#10: Rec Fest, Bark Fest, Summer Fest, Film Fest, Playwrights’ Fest, Flute Fest, Lit Fest, Lobsterfest, Sibs Fest, Jazz Fest, Breast Fest, Dairy Barn Fest, Move-Out Fest, DARS fest

A sign for Move Out Fest hangs in the dorms, adorned with photos of happy fest-goers carrying boxes.

Originally a sign for Ark Fest, Bark Fest was able to use the same sign as it was conveniently held only shortly afterward.
On-campus organizers are finagling their way into the student psyche by slapping the word “fest” after event titles in hopes of attracting people in the same numbers as the beer-soaked shitshow fests.

As if Hocktoberfest, High Fest, Ark Fest, Mill Fest, Palmer Fest, Palmer Place Fest, Oak Fest and Numberfest weren’t enough, students are coaxed into attending “fests” aimed to help and not hurt their brain cell count.

 Instead of shot gunning Natty Lights on a patch of muddy grass dotted with jutting beer cans at Palmer Place Fest, Lit Fest showcases the talents of literary greats out of the English department. Rather than fast-walking across the street past horse cops with a red Solo cup turned upside down at High Fest, Summer Fest offers information about class sessions in the summer. And while Oak Fest inaugurates the barbaric “USA!” chant, Film Fest presents the best independent films from around the world.

Drunk, or Athens?

Masking educational and informational events with stupefied party titles in order to gain attendance is protocol for any organizer looking to hold a successful event at our party school campus. It is likely that Harvard does not aim to blur the line of drunken stupor with academia, but Harvard-on-the-Hocking sees no shame.

 These organizers are not the Beastie Boys aiming to promote the debauchery of the Fests-- they are just out to capitalize on it. That’s just how it works in Athens.

Just Athens.

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