Thursday, January 5, 2012

#21: Souvlaki's

Peeing in the corner is only socially acceptable one hour before and one hour after the bars close during restaurant hours.

Souvlaki’s serves Mediterranean food (which alone is unbeknownst to 99 percent of all of you Athenians) and has the best business plan in Athens: an authentic greasy gyro place open until 5 a.m. sitting next to a bar that not only sells coffee-and-a-shot “Hot Nuts,” but connects it to an entire street holding a dozen more bars. It should be against zoning laws to allow these venues that promote extremely poor habits to be consecutive.

Naturally, one night last fall quarter, a senior was blacked out in Souvlaki’s peeing in the corner- a move socially acceptable only at token greasy drunken spoons, such a Big Mama’s, Wendy’s, Grilled Cheese Sales and Souvlaki’s.

Seeing the puddle in the corner, Mr. Souvlaki was enraged that someone had peed in his corner, angrily asked the nearby hammered boy if it was him and threatened to call the police.

Realizing a few sloppy seconds later that, yes, his bowels did feel strangely emptied, the hammered senior became immediately apologetic, whipped Mr. Souvlaki his credit card and demanded he take $100 from his credit card instead of calling the cops.

Satisfied, Mr. Souvlaki did. 

Drunk, or Athens? 

The case for drunk: It doesn’t take Athens to lure people into getting blacked out and urinate in public places. That surely only happens here because so many people are drunk.

But, the senior’s sloshy subconscious reaction was to make up for what he did sevenfold, to show his apology and his respect. U
nderstanding the mutual dependency between townies and students is purely Athens.


  1. I had my very first souvalaki (and gyro) too at this place sometime in the mid-70's. I remember them as being great.