Sunday, September 30, 2012

#37: What Would You do, for a Free Burrito?

                  Court Street Cuts' odd promotion from last year. Photo contributed by Stephanie Stark.

Last year Court Street Cuts, a local barbershop, offered a deal that would make this guy consider having his ears lowered. A free burrito with a haircut serves multiple purposes. Not only does it attract business in a town that is crazy for the delectable concoction that originated south of the border, but giving away a small dumbbell of tortilla, meat and cheese helps fill the bellies of hungry college students with thin wallets. Obviously, the owner of Court Street Cuts developed this clever plan to make money, while simultaneously planting a “hangover-prevention system” snugly within the confines of those poor college student’s stomachs.

Drunk, or Athens?

Athens: The case for Athens is simple: Athenians love burritos. Almost anywhere else in the country, this gimmick would be laughed out of a marketing meeting. And what’s more, Athens boasts not one, but four burrito joints in a three mile radius. Chipotle and Big Mamma’s nearly share a street corner,  two blocks away is the classy Casa Nueva, and Taco Bell is just a short drive down East State. Four restaurants selling similar product to a population of just over twenty-thousand poor college students is enough to boggle the mind of even the most seasoned economist.

Drunk: The case for drunk is even simpler: Burritos taste better when the consumer is drunk. The proof is evident outside of Big Mamma’s in the wee hours of Saturday and Sunday morning, and again nine hours later inside of Chipotle.        

This case suggests a proof worthy of any Introduction to Logic course textbook. Athenians love burritos. They also love to drink.  Burritos taste better when drunk.  Therefore, they eat more burritos when they drink. We here at Drunk, or Athens prejudged this topic. We were prepared to give this to Athens in a landslide, but after further deliberation it seems obvious that a free burrito with a haircut is purely: DRUNK!

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